What are the Chances? Page 14

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

  “I tried.” He leaned forward and his voice rose. “You literally slammed the door in my face. And then you took off in Cartwright’s helicopter.”

  “Right. Sorry about that.” I tucked my hair behind my ears and slid my back down the wall to sit on the floor. “Why did she show up at your house unannounced in the first place?”

  “I lent her money last term. She was just paying me back.”

  My eyes rolled because that seemed like an unlikely story. “She could have just e-transferred or mailed you a cheque. But instead she drove all the way up to Britannia Beach. Does she still like you?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “I don’t know. Does it?” I challenged, and then hugged my knees into my chest.

  He stood and moved to sit on the arm of the couch, facing me. “She was interested in me and pursued me since September. She would show up at the library when I was studying or join my friends at lunch without asking and eventually became a part of my social circle. I needed a date for a faculty dinner once and she took me as a guest to a friend’s wedding once. I was never into her.”

  “Why not? She’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

  “Because she’s not you.”

  He stood and walked over to slide his back down the wall and sit next to me on the floor. After a deep breath he rested his hand, palm up on his thigh, so I would hold it—like a truce.

  “Deri, you are the only person I have ever been into. Within the first few minutes of meeting you I knew you were someone special. As we got older, I realized just how incredibly rare a connection like ours is. You shared all my interests like a best friend, you knew everything about me like a sister, and you took my breath away like my dream girl—all at the same time. By the time I was fifteen I was hopelessly in love with you.” His fingers squeezed around mine. He turned his head and our eyes locked. “And I still am.”

  My eyebrows angled together and my breathing halted temporarily as I took a second to replay what he said and to make sure I heard right. “Seriously?”

  He smiled and sparks of energy scattered across my skin. “You’ve always known I love you.”

  “I knew you cared, but I was confused because you never asked me out. Why didn’t you want to date?”

  “I did, I just thought it would be better for you to have the experiences of dating other guys so you wouldn’t always wonder if there was something better out there.” He clenched his eyes shut for a second as if he regretted that decision. “My plan was to ask you out at your graduation, but you were excited about your Europe trip and I didn’t want to interfere with that. Then when you got back, Mason beat me to it.”

  “You let him beat you.”

  He shrugged as if it was true. “Mason can give you a lot of things I can’t. It’s better if you find out now what you really want instead of getting trapped in a life you resent.”

  “I’m not your mom. You’re the one who’s like your mom. You take off every time things get even a little bit complicated.”

  “I’m nothing like her.” The tendons in his neck tightened from the comparison. “You know I always come back.”

  That was true. He always came back. “But you leave without talking or trying to solve things.”

  “I’m sorry. I wanted to give you space to think and figure things out on your own.” He was quiet for a while and stared at our intertwined hands. Then he sighed. “I didn’t want you to end up like my mom did and wake up one day wondering if I really was the right one, or the convenient one.”

  I squeezed his hand between both of mine. “Weren’t you worried that when you encouraged me to date other people there was a very good chance I might actually develop feelings for one of them?”

  He shrugged. “I’d rather you figure it out now. Why? Do you like Cartwright?”

  I thought about if for a while, then answered honestly, “Yes. He’s really amazing.” I turned to face Trevor and sat cross-legged next to his hip. “But I love you.”

  The side of his mouth lifted in an adorable grin. He started to speak but then something smashed in Doug’s bedroom and startled both of us.

  We both got up and rushed down the hall.

  CHAPTER 20

  Doug stood hunched over in front of the mirror in his bedroom. It was shattered and his right hand was bleeding in streams down his forearm. “Get out!” he shouted at us.

  “You’re bleeding. Let me help you,” I said.

  “Unless you’re going to get me what I need, I don’t want you here. Take Maverty with you. I want to be alone.” He sat on the edge of the bed and clenched his arms against his abdomen as if he was having bad cramps. He groaned and rocked his upper body back and forth towards his knees.

  I glanced over my shoulder at Trevor. His eyebrows angled together. “Maybe I should call the ambulance.”

  There was a knock at the door, so Trevor turned and went to answer. Doug glanced at me and blinked slowly as if his eyelids were too heavy. When he heard Sophie’s voice, his expression contorted into rage. He grabbed me by both shoulders and shoved me across the room. I smashed into the dresser and landed in a heap on the floor. “Bitch. I told you not to call her.”

  I wanted to say something to defend myself but the air had been knocked out of my lungs. The only sound I could muster was a weird wheezing. Blood dripped onto the floor from a cut on my forehead. I touched the spot above my eye and felt warm stickiness.

  Trevor and Sophie both raced into the room and stood with their mouths hanging open once they saw that I was bleeding. Trevor was about to move in to restrain Doug, but I knew it would be ugly if it turned into a fight, so I held my hand up to stop him. “I’m okay.”

  I slowly stood and made eye contact with Doug. He widened his stance in a posture like a cornered animal. I took a slow step towards him and waited to see how he was going to react. His eyes darted between each of us. I exhaled and stood motionless to let him settle down. His muscles were still rigid and sweat ran down the sides of his face. Holding my breath, I inched closer and waited. Eventually his expression softened and he relaxed enough to let me put my arms around him. I turned my face and rested my cheek on his chest. His heart bounced off his ribs in a crazy rhythm.

  He inhaled deeply and hugged me back. “I’m sorry, Deri. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “I know. It’s going to be okay.”

  Once he knew I was safe, Trevor called Murphy. He showed up ten minutes later with his paramedic partner to examine Doug. They said the worst part of the detox was probably over and gave us instructions on how to take care of him. Murphy had to go back to work, but he said to call him if there were any problems and he’d come back.

  “Thanks Murph,” Sophie said and then hugged each of us. “I’ll stay with him while he sleeps. You guys can head home too if you want.”

  “I was planning to crash here tonight anyway,” Trevor said. “I’ll sleep out on the couch in case you need help with anything.”

  She glanced wide-eyed in my direction in what I assumed was her way of encouraging me to take advantage of the golden opportunity. Then she went to be with Doug in the bedroom.

  After Murphy left, Trevor sat down on the couch next to me and exhaled. “How’s your head?”

  Murphy had cleaned it so there wasn’t any blood but it was swollen. I touched it and it hurt, but I said, “Fine.”

  He got up and headed to the kitchen to open the freezer. He scooped some crushed ice into a sandwich bag and brought it back to place it above my eye. “Did Doug call you? Is that why you were here?”

  “No. I was on my way over to Sophie’s and found him slumped over in his car.” I sat cross-legged on the cushion and faced him. I stared for a while because he looked different to me after officially declaring his love. “Did it feel weird for you to kiss me after being friends for so long?”

  “No.” He sat back and stretched his legs out. “It felt exactly how I always imagined it would.” />
  “And how was that?”

  He smiled and glanced at me. “Awesome.”

  My breath hitched in my throat for a second before the grin spread across my face.

  “Did it feel weird to you?”

  “No.” I shook my head slowly, still grinning, as I remembered the kiss. “It felt perfectly natural, like destiny.” I tossed the bag of melting ice into a mug on the coffee table, then planted my hands on the middle cushion and shifted onto my knees to crawl closer. “I don’t suppose you would be interested in doing it again?” I touched the end of my nose to his and smiled.

  His hand slid up to rest on the side of my jaw and he gently drew my face towards his. “I would love to kiss you again, but you need to know that you have options—guys like Mason, going to school in Toronto, travelling, or whatever else you might want to experience. I don’t want to tell you what to do and I don’t want to stand in your way of anything. Live the life you want.”

  I nodded and let it all sink in. “I don’t need more life experiences to know that everything about you complements who I am and makes me whole. What more could there be out there than that?”

  He didn’t answer, and it was hard to tell if he didn’t have a counter-argument or if he was distracted by my hand running up his thigh. Either way, I was winning the debate.

  “I just want you to do what feels right,” he finally said.

  I knew I had options, but my first choice would always be him. It was an easy choice. I gazed into his eyes and inched closer. “You feel right.”

  After flashing me a drop-me-to-my-knees-begging type of smile he leaned in to kiss me tenderly along my jaw line. Then he paused just below my ear and let his lips hover close to my skin for an excruciatingly exciting moment. He kissed his way towards my mouth and when he slid his tongue along the surface of my lower lip, tingles shot up my spine. A warm sensation radiated from his lips and pulsated through me with each beat of my heart—like our souls were fusing.

  I moved and swung my leg over to straddle his thighs. His hands rested on my hips to pull me in closer, but his jaw muscles tensed into a serious expression. “I love you, Deri, but I want you to be sure about this. It would kill me if you made your choices for me and ended up unhappy.”

  I clutched his neck and leaned in to speak into his ear. “I am sure.”

  Our lips locked and every moment of closeness we’d ever shared came rushing back to me. The memories took my breath away—the meaningful grazes of my hand, the secrets and wishes we had whispered, every knowing glance from across the room, the comforting hugs, reassuring forehead kisses, encouraging pep-talks, the way his confidence and bravery always surrounded me in a fiercely protective embrace, and how we called each other on our bullshit with an intensity that only someone who loves you unconditionally can get away with. I loved him so much.

  He moved to lay me back on the cushion and pulled his shirt off. His body was so incredibly hot I had to remind myself to breathe. My gaze wandered across his broad shoulders before focusing back on his face. He leaned forward to place one hand on either side of me, then slowly lowered his body and hovered over mine as if he was doing a push-up. The anticipation was killing me, so I dug my fingers into his back and pulled him down until our chests pressed together. Clutching his hair, I kissed him hard. And I knew without a doubt that his lips were the only lips I wanted to kiss for the rest of my life.

  I ran my hands up his abs, careful to avoid his bruised ribs. His breathing got heavier as my palms caressed his chest. His gaze didn’t break contact with mine and something even more intense than the physical touch transferred between us. My back arched as the sensation coursed through my veins. He leaned forward to kiss my throat and his hand trailed along my skin from my waist to my bra, generating heat as it moved.

  When my breath became more rapid and my touch more eager, he hesitated and said, “Do you think maybe we should go on a proper date?”

  “That would be nice,” I hooked my finger under his chin to draw him close for a kiss. “This is nice, too, though.”

  “This is more than nice,” he said. “But maybe we should dial it back. I don’t want our first time together to be on Doug’s couch.”

  I rolled my head to the side and took in the environment—a nineteen-year-old rocker’s crash pad. “I guess it isn’t exactly how I imagined it.”

  Trevor slid over onto his side next to me and bent his elbow to prop his head up. “How did you imagine it?”

  My eyes clenched and my cheeks heated up. “You’re going to laugh. It’s sort of weird.”

  He laughed. “Like kinky weird?”

  “No.” I slapped his chest. “You have to promise not to laugh.”

  He made a motion to cross his heart with his finger.

  I inhaled and released the air slowly to stave off the embarrassment. “For a very long time I have had a fantasy that you and I would sneak out onto the beach together at night. We would lie down on a blanket to gaze up at the stars and listen to the waves lapping against the shore. You would lean over to kiss me, then, all slow and sexy, bathed in the moonlight, it would happen really naturally and beautifully.”

  He didn’t laugh. He stared at me with the most sincere and gentle expression of love I had ever seen. “Then that’s how it will happen.”

  Everything felt like a dream, only it was real. He was right beside me. His muscles were holding me tight. His heat was keeping me warm. His kiss was caressing my skin. I was ridiculously happy.

  We were asleep on the couch, cuddled in each other’s arms, when the sound of the toilet flushing woke me up. Sophie walked into the living room and leaned her elbows on the back of the couch, grinning. “Well, well, well. What do we have going on here?” she asked and reached down to muss up my already mussed hair even more. Trevor rolled over and groaned because she turned on the lamp.

  “What’s it look like?” I said and waved my hand to shoo her away.

  She didn’t shoo. She sat in the armchair and crossed her feet on the coffee table, fully intending to give me the gears. “It looks like Trevor Maverty and Derian Lafleur are sleeping together. Fi. Na. Ly.”

  “Shouldn’t you be with Doug?” I motioned vehemently with my head towards the bedroom and pleaded with my eyes.

  “He’s asleep. I’m not tired.” Her eyebrows rose with amusement because she knew it would drive me insane if she lingered on purpose. “I think we should talk about this.” She pointed in a swirly motion to indicate that the this she was referring to was Trevor and me.

  Trevor chuckled, then sat up and handed me my shirt. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and asked if we wanted anything.

  “I’ll have a beer,” Sophie said.

  He tossed her one as his phone buzzed. It was the Search and Rescue ringtone so he checked it. He looked torn but said, “I’ve got to go.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  He put his shirt back on. “Some teens didn’t return from a hike. Are you going to stay here or head back to Britannia?”

  “She’s staying here,” Sophie answered for me as she twisted the cap off her beer.

  I shrugged to agree. I didn’t want him to leave, but, more importantly, I didn’t want what happened between us to be a one-time thing before he followed through on his plans to disappear to the Rockies or the Yukon or wherever. To check where we stood I asked, “See you at breakfast?”

  “Yeah.” He bent down to kiss my forehead. “Save me a muffin.” He turned to leave and said, “See ya, Soph.”

  “Byyyyye,” she sang. Then, as soon as the door shut behind him, she put the beer down and launched herself towards the couch to tackle and tickle me. “I told you it was going to happen this summer. I want details. Start talking.”

  CHAPTER 21

  In the morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee. Sophie was in Doug’s kitchen. “Morning,” I croaked with a raspy voice. His couch was not that comfortable. “How’s Doug feeling?”

  “Good, a
pparently. He’s in the shower right now, but then he’s going to start packing.” She reached into the fridge to get the carton of cream, then slammed the door shut.

  “Packing for what?”

  “He got a call from a band that needs a drummer for their recording sessions in LA. Tomorrow.”

  “Really? That’s awesome. Is he feeling well enough, though?”

  She shrugged and threw two slices of bread in the toaster oven. “I guess so.”

  “You don’t seem that happy.”

  “I’m happy for him, but it sucks for our band and it sucks for our relationship. I’m going to tell him we have to break up.”

  “What? No. Why?” I got off the couch and moved to sit on the bar stool at the counter.

  “The recording session is just the beginning. They want him to tour with them too. If he makes it big with them, our band will fold without him. He thinks he can do both, but if he goes on tour with them, he won’t keep playing in a garage band or dating his high-school sweetheart. I’ll just be holding him back from his dreams.”

  “That’s not true. He adores you. You guys are soulmates.”

  She shrugged and then hopped up to sit on the counter next to the sink. “He didn’t even want me to be here when he was detoxing. He wanted you to be here.”

  “He didn’t want me here either. I dragged him here and he literally pushed me away.”

  “The person you love is supposed to be the one person you can tell anything to.” She frowned before she reached over to open the toaster oven. “He should have confided in me when he realized he had a problem.”

  “He was ashamed and afraid he was going to lose you if you saw him like that,” I said as I got up to pour myself a glass of juice. “His biggest worry was that you were going to leave him if you found out.”

  “Well, he should have been more worried about what I would do if he moved to LA and joined a better band.” She took a bite of the toast, completely plain. “A drug addiction and living seventeen hundred kilometres away from each other are both fairly significant blows to the relationship.”