What are the Chances? Read online

  “What about Mason?”

  “What about Mason? You went on one date.”

  “Three dates, two of which were amazing. He took me on a picnic today and we have a lot in common. I like him. I’m confused.”

  “You weren’t supposed to fall for Mason, you dork. He’s just a means to an end.”

  “That sounds so cold. He’s a real person who has real feelings.”

  “It’s simple. Sweet, hot guy you’ve loved for thirteen years, or sweet, hot guy you’ve gone on a few dates with.”

  I thought about Sophie’s oversimplification for a second, then said, “Trevor’s drunk. Should I wait until the morning and tell him when he’s sober?”

  “I wouldn’t wait.”

  “Okay, I’m going over. I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks.”

  I hung up and looked out my window. His bedroom light was on, so I put on yoga pants and a sweat top, then ran out of the Inn and across the parking lot. I took two steps at a time up to the Mavertys’ porch and slid my finger along the top of the door frame to find their spare key.

  The lights were off in the living room and kitchen, so I snuck up the stairs. Hopefully Jim wasn’t awake. If he thought I was an intruder he would take me down, no questions asked. I knocked softly on Trevor’s door. There was no answer, so I knocked again and opened it a crack. He was sprawled on the bed, stomach down, still wearing his jacket and boots. “Trevor,” I whispered. “Trev,” I said more loudly before stepping into the room and closing the door behind me.

  He moved a little and groaned, but he didn’t wake up. I sat on the edge of his bed and watched him. His eyebrows were creased together with stress or pain. The bruised part of his cheek was on the pillow, which he would probably regret in the morning. I ran my palm down the side of his face and along the angle of his jaw. It was rough, as if he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days.

  His room hadn’t changed too much since we were little. We used to play in his room all the time and I was familiar with most everything in it. His old red baseball cap was sitting on the shelf. I put it on and wandered around. The leather jacket he leant me was hanging from the closet doorknob. The frame on his desk had a photo of me in it. I was about fifteen and sitting on the railing of the deck at the Inn. The shot caught me mid-laugh and it seemed as if I didn’t know the picture was being taken. There was also a picture of Kailyn, him, and me in a rowboat when we were all really little. I had sent him that photo while he was in Europe. It was adorable and it brought back good memories from when my dad was still alive. Memories like Trevor and me helping baby ducks cross the highway; him putting a band-aid on my knee after I fell off my bike; my mom hugging him when he was about ten because he made a clay picture frame at school and gave it to her for Mother’s Day; him throwing rocks at my bedroom window so we could sneak out at night to watch a meteor shower; us running in the forest. We raced to get to the top of the mountain before the sun rose. We got there at exactly the same time and watched in awe as the sun flooded the valley with warm light. It was beautiful.

  Trevor moved a little and winced, but he didn’t wake up, so I took off his boots for him, kissed him on the forehead, and left.

  CHAPTER 18

  I couldn’t fall asleep at first because I was rehearsing in my mind what I wanted to say to Trevor. Every couple of hours, I woke up and checked the clock. The night seemed to take forever to pass. At five o’clock, I sprung out of bed, showered, and spent a little extra time on my hair and outfit.

  The guests all came and went for breakfast with no sign of Trevor. His truck was still out front, so I figured he was either hung over or in too much pain from whatever happened to him on the rescue. I didn’t mind waiting. It would go better if he wasn’t irritable and grumpy.

  The hours passed and I decided that if he didn’t come over by three o’clock I would go check on him and make sure he was okay. At noon, Kailyn burst into the lobby as I was sorting the accounts receivable for the Inn. Her face was flushed and her fists were balled at her side.

  “Kailyn, what’s wrong?”

  “You are very mean, Derian. Trevor ran away on his motorcycle because you hurt his feelings.”

  “What do you mean? He left?”

  “He ran away forever and it’s your fault. You’re being a bad girl because you go on dates with Mason Cartwright. I don’t love you anymore.” She swung the door open and rushed out.

  “Kailyn,” I yelled through the open door. She stormed across the parking lot, stomped up their porch steps, and slammed the door behind her.

  Talking to her when she was angry never went well. I decided to let her cool off before I attempted it. Sophie called for an update, so I headed to my bedroom to talk in privacy. There was a note on my floor that must have been slipped under the door. I picked it up as I said to Sophie, “It didn’t happen.” I tossed the note on my desk.

  “Why not? Did you chicken out?”

  “No. He was passed out when I went there last night. And Kailyn just informed me that he took off on his bike, possibly permanently. So there goes my chance.” I put a sweater on and zipped the front, then walked back to my desk and picked up the note. It was from Trevor.

  Deri,

  I’m taking off for a while to give you space. I apologize if I said anything last night that I shouldn’t have. I can’t remember that well.

  Trev

  “Deri,” Sophie said louder to get my attention.

  “What? Sorry. I wasn’t listening. Trevor left me a note that I just read.”

  “What does it say?”

  “Goodbye, basically.” I sighed and threw the paper on my desk. “Is it all right if I come over to hang out? I need to not be here right now.”

  “Absolutely. Doug is leaving soon. Come over whenever you want. I live for this type of drama.”

  “Thanks. I’m on my way.”

  After I hung up, I headed to the library to talk to my granddad. He was reading in his armchair, so I sat on the couch across from him. “I know I’ve been going out a lot, but will you be okay if I go out again this afternoon?”

  He nodded and took his glasses off to study my face. “Do you have another date with Mason?”

  “No. I need a break from dating for a while. I’m going to Sophie’s. I’ll probably sleep over. Is there anything you need me to do before I go?”

  “Don’t worry about me and the Inn. Alan and Paula are eager to do as much as possible. You should take it easy and enjoy your last summer here. Do you want to borrow the car?”

  “Sure. If you don’t mind. How is your condo in Squamish coming along?”

  “Good. The construction is on schedule. I should be able to move in by the end of August. Before you leave for Toronto, we can move your furniture into the second bedroom. That way you will be all set up to visit anytime you like.”

  “That sounds really nice. But Toronto is still up in the air.”

  “Really? I thought you decided for sure.” Although he had never outwardly expressed any reluctance about me going to U of T, he seemed pleased to find out that I might not go.

  “I’m confused right now.”

  “Well, Squamish would be quite the commute every day, but you are welcome to live with me in the apartment full time. Not that you probably want to live with an old man. It’s an option, though, if living with your mom goes as well as I imagine it will.”

  I laughed because he didn’t comment on my relationship with my mom that often. “Thank you. I might need to take you up on that offer.”

  I stood and kissed his cheek. “If you need me to come back from Sophie’s, just call.”

  He patted my hand. “Drive safe.”

  “I will. Love you.”

  I grabbed his car keys from the desk and left out the lobby door. Before I started the engine, I texted Trevor: Let me know you’re safe. He didn’t respond.

  I drove into Squamish and parked a few houses down from Sophie’s. Doug was sitting in his car across the street, slumpe
d over the steering wheel. I walked up and knocked on the driver-side window. He rolled his head and his eyes attempted to focus on me.

  “Are you okay?” I shouted through the glass.

  He frowned and squinted as if the brightness of the clear blue sky hurt his brain. I opened the door and rested my palm on his forehead. He was cold and sweaty.

  “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

  “No. I’m fine.” He was shaking.

  “I don’t think you are. Let’s get you back inside.”

  “No.”

  “Well, you can’t drive. You look horrible.”

  He pushed my hand away. “I don’t want Sophie to see me like this.”

  “Like what? What’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “There’s something wrong with you.”

  After a hesitation, he held up my granddad’s prescription bottle and shook it. It was empty. He didn’t say anything. He just rested his forehead on the steering wheel.

  “Do you want me to take you to a medical clinic to get more?”

  “They won’t give me more,” he mumbled.

  “Why? If your back still hurts they should give you something for it.”

  “My back doesn’t still hurt.” He popped his head up and looked at me as if he got a bright idea. “They’ll give some to you. You can tell them you’re in pain for something and they’ll give you a prescription.”

  I frowned and let everything sink in. “So, you don’t need painkillers for pain, you need painkillers because you’re addicted.”

  He tilted his head and looked at me in an apologetic way. “Will you help me get more?”

  “Jesus. Shove over.” I pushed him into the passenger seat and slid into the driver’s seat. “Give me the keys.”

  He abruptly opened the passenger door and leaned out to puke on the sidewalk. He heaved a few more times, then sat up straight and closed the door. “Are you going to help me?”

  “Yes,” I said and patted his jacket pockets for the keys.

  “Promise you won’t tell Sophie.”

  “You know I can’t make that kind of promise.” I started his car and drove down the street.

  “Please, don’t tell her. She’ll leave me if she finds out I’m hooked. If you get me another bottle right now, I promise I’ll get clean.”

  “I’m not getting you more.”

  “You have to, Deri. I feel like I’m dying.”

  He was shaking and sweating. I shook my head and drove out of the neighbourhood, then turned the corner onto the street his apartment was on. I parked and basically dragged him by the leather of his jacket to the elevator. I used the key to open the door to his suite and helped him take his boots and jacket off. “Go lie down.” I put my purse down and called Sophie. Doug watched me as I waited for her to answer. His eyes pleaded with me. “Hey, Soph. Something came up at the Inn and my granddad needs my help. I’m not going to be able to come over.”

  Doug mouthed, Thank you.

  “Okay, yeah. Thanks. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hung up and stared at him. He was half-buckled over as if he was going to puke again. “You owe me. Go lie down while I figure out what to do.”

  “You could at least get me some Tylenol.” He paced around the apartment for a minute, then went into the kitchen and opened a cupboard. He pulled out bottles of vitamins and threw them on the floor until the cupboard was empty.

  “Doug, settle down.”

  He stormed across the living room towards the bathroom and chucked things around. His laptop was open on his desk, so I sat down to search painkiller addictions and withdrawal. “Deri! Just go to the damn pharmacy and get me some Tylenol.”

  “No.”

  He stood in the doorway to the bathroom and glared at me. “Then you might as well leave if you’re not going to help me.”

  “No. I’m not leaving and I’m not getting you anything. Just stop talking while I figure out what to do.”

  “I know what you need to do. You need to get me some fucking pills.”

  Startled by his tone and language, my mouth dropped open. He had never spoken to me that way before.

  He cringed. “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to swear at you. Sorry.” He pulled at tufts of his hair and paced around.

  “It’s okay. Just try to breathe. It’s going to be okay.” I attempted to sound calm, but I wasn’t.

  He bolted back into the bathroom and vomited. I got up and stood in the doorway to make sure he was okay. Eventually, he stopped puking and turned to sit against the tub. His hair was soaked in sweat and he trembled. “Deri, I think I’m dying. My heart feels like it’s out of control.”

  “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

  “No. They’ll put me in rehab. The band needs me. Please, just get me some sort of painkiller.”

  He started crying and it slayed me to see a person I considered invincible look so vulnerable. I sat on the floor next to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “Do you want to feel better temporarily or do you want to get better?”

  He leaned into my hug. “I want to get better, but I don’t think I can. It kills.”

  “I’ll help you. We can do it together. Okay?”

  A key turned in the lock and the door to the apartment opened.

  I assumed it was Sophie. Instead, Trevor appeared at the bathroom door and frowned as he took in the scene of Doug and me embracing on the floor.

  CHAPTER 19

  Doug abruptly pulled away from my hug and aimed more puke into the toilet. Struggling, he pulled himself up to lean his elbows on the edge of the bowl. In between retches he mumbled, “Sorry.”

  I knelt behind him and rubbed his back as he hung his head. “It’s okay.”

  Trevor assessed the seriousness of the situation quickly and asked, “What can I do to help?”

  I pointed in the direction of the living room. “I started a search on his laptop to find out about OxyContin withdrawal. You could search some more to see if we need to take him to the hospital.”

  “No,” Doug moaned. “No hospital. I don’t want anybody to know.”

  Trevor turned and walked down the hall to the living room. The computer chair squeaked as he sat down. Doug crawled on his knees to the base of the sink and held on to the counter to attempt to stand. I helped him to his feet and he washed out his mouth.

  “I think I need to lie down.”

  “Okay.” I stretched his arm across my shoulders and propped his weight against mine to guide him to his bedroom. He flopped down on the mattress and closed his eyes, but not in a restful way. It seemed more like he was bracing from the pain. Worried, I joined Trevor in the living room to check if there was something more we should be doing.

  Trevor leaned back in the computer chair and tilted his head back to look at me. “How is he?”

  “He’s in bed. But I don’t think he’ll be able to sleep.”

  “How long has he been taking OxyContin?”

  “Three months.”

  He read through a medical article online and then texted Murphy to ask what the paramedics normally do. He read the response, then said, “He’ll probably be okay detoxing here. But we should monitor his vitals. Murphy is on shift tonight. We can call him if we need him to come over.” He turned in the chair to face me. “Where’s Sophie?”

  “Doug doesn’t want her to know.”

  “You have to tell her. How would you feel if it was the other way around?”

  He was right, so I sighed and called her. “Hey Soph, you need to come to Doug’s place.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “He’s sick. Just come over. I’ll explain everything when you get here.”

  “I’ll be right there.”

  She hung up and I looked at Trevor—partly angry at him for leaving without talking to me first, but I was mostly relieved he wasn’t actually gone. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Kailyn made it sound like you took off.”

  “I could
n’t leave right away. It’s been really busy and a lot of the Search and Rescue guys are on holidays. I didn’t want to leave my dad short-handed. Doug said I could crash here.”

  “So, you’re still leaving?”

  He shrugged. “That’s the plan.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Probably through the Rockies—Banff, Lake Louise. Or maybe north into Yukon.”

  I shook my head, hurt that he didn’t even care where he went and had no reservations about leaving on a trip that big without bothering to tell me to my face. “Just so you know, when someone texts you asking whether you are okay, the decent thing to do is respond with yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

  “I was on top of a mountain without service. What did you expect me to do?”

  Not buying that as his only excuse, I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water in an attempt to stay calm. He watched me cautiously as if he knew I was about to pick a fight so everything would be laid on the table. The bruising on his face had turned a deeper blue and his eye was still almost swollen shut, so I launched my first blow to get the argument going. “You look like shit.”

  “Yeah, well high-angle rescue and distractions don’t go well together.”

  “What distractions?” I placed the glass on the counter and crossed my arms, prepared to completely get into it with him. “Girlfriend problems?”

  He exhaled stressfully and rubbed the back of his neck before he said, “Lindy and I aren’t going out, if that’s what you’re referring to.”

  “Why? Did she break up with you because she found out you kissed me?”

  “No.” His eyes met mine, maybe remembering the kiss or maybe thinking about what he wanted to say next. “We only went out a few times. It was never serious.”

  Not entirely disarmed by that answer, I stepped into the living room and leaned against the wall by the door. “If that’s true, why did she sleep over?”

  “My dad and I went out on a rescue. When we got back, it was late. She didn’t feel comfortable driving on the highway alone at night, so my dad invited her to stay. She slept in his bed and he slept on the couch.”