What are the Chances? Page 12

  I told my granddad I was leaving and met Mason at his truck. He drove north on the highway, so I asked if we could make a quick stop. Then I pointed to signal him to take the turn off to the cemetery. The road wound around and once we passed through the gates, I directed him to stop the truck near where my dad was buried. “It’s my dad’s birthday. I just want to say hi. I’ll only be a minute.”

  He nodded, completely understanding.

  I hopped out and walked over to the headstone. It looked a little neglected, so I brushed away the dirt on the surface and ran my finger over the carving of his name. “Hi, Dad. I’m sorry I almost forgot your birthday. I’m totally scatter-brained right now. You wouldn’t be very proud of me. I yelled at Mom today and it was baaad. She probably won’t get over it for a while.” The wind picked up and swirled my hair into my face as if he was listening. “Did you know she has a boyfriend? I hope you’re okay with that. She’s happy and I should probably be okay with it, but based on my flip-out today I’m not yet. I know you would want me to try harder to get along with her. It was going pretty well until I found out about the boyfriend.” The air became very still and birds sang in a tree not far away. “Trevor and I kissed. Maybe you would rather not know about things like that, but I can’t talk to Mom about it. Everything is messed up, though, because Trevor’s girlfriend Lindy showed up and slept over at his place. I was really hurt and to kind of get back at him I went on a really amazing date with someone Trevor doesn’t like very much, which was probably a bad idea since I’m playing with people’s feelings—mine included. Speaking of which, that’s Mason in the truck over there. He’s actually really nice, but I always believed Trevor and I were meant to be together. Now I’m confused. It seems like if it was meant to be it wouldn’t be this hard. Right?”

  My phone buzzed with Trevor’s response to my earlier text: Thought you had nothing to say to me.

  I had a vision. Just be safe.

  Always am. Can we please talk when I get back?

  I debated because living with the uncertainty of our future together seemed a thousand times more desirable than knowing for absolute sure that we could never work. Talking about it was the adult thing to do, though, so I texted back: Yes.

  I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to hear my dad’s advice or see his face. It didn’t work and I didn’t want to keep Mason waiting for too long, so after a few minutes I stood and kissed the headstone. “Mason’s brother Cody is with you. Can you make sure he’s not alone? Thanks for listening. Happy Birthday. I miss you and I love you.”

  Mason watched as I approached the truck, but as I got closer he looked away so it would seem as if he wasn’t. I climbed into the passenger seat and closed the door. The radio was on a low volume.

  “Thanks for waiting. Do you go to the cemetery to visit your brother on your birthday?”

  “Sometimes. Cody’s buried in Ottawa, though, so I don’t get to go as much as I would like.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He reached over and touched my cheek tenderly. His sensitivity made me smile. “Ready for lunch?”

  I nodded.

  We left the cemetery and drove along the highway to a wilderness area popular with locals. After parking the truck, we hiked the trail towards the top of the waterfall. Mason carried the picnic basket and I carried the blanket. Trevor and I had spent almost our entire childhood in the forest together—climbing trees, making forts, caving, rock climbing, and cliff jumping, so even though I was wearing flip flops, I climbed faster than Mason. Once I reached the top I spread the blanket on a grassy spot that wasn’t under the cover of the tree canopy. The sun was warm and the sounds of birds, chipmunks, and running water were so peaceful.

  “Geez, you’re like a mountain goat,” Mason said when he caught up to me.

  “I had to learn how to be quick to keep up with—” I stopped myself before I said Trevor’s name. “My legs are long.”

  He smiled briefly with only half his mouth as if he knew what I had meant to say, then he opened the picnic basket and set up the dishes.

  “Thanks. This is nice,” I said as I stretched out on the blanket to soak up the warmth of the sun.

  “A simple, stripped-down date. Especially for you.” He passed me a Perrier water.

  “Merci.”

  “Ah, that reminds me. We need to go back to Paris again sometime. Not just at the same time, but actually together.”

  I studied his expression. He was serious and it was absolutely not a big deal to him to say things like that. It was a strange feeling to imagine a relationship with him that might progress to something like travelling the world together. The type of nervousness I felt right before I took a risk to do something outside my comfort zone.

  When I didn’t respond, his smile faded and he said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get ahead of myself. But I do want to make your dreams come true. And money is no object. Anything you want. Just say the word and I will make it happen.”

  “I guess people who have grown up with a lot of money take it for granted.” I sat cross-legged and unwrapped one of the turkey paninis he had packed. “You don’t need to do extravagant things to impress me.”

  “What impresses you?” He popped a green grape into his mouth and leaned back on his elbow.

  “Honesty.”

  “That’s it?”

  “That’s it.”

  He thought for a minute and then his eyebrow arched before he said, “Well, I honestly want to take you to Paris.”

  I laughed. “You’re being provocative again.” I reached into the picnic basket and offered him some cheese and crackers. “Why don’t you just give people you? If they don’t like it that’s their loss. If they do, then you know for sure they are a real friend.”

  His head hung and he was quiet for a long time. “Maybe I don’t know how to give people that.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugged. “For more than half my life I was Mason and Cody. He was always on my left side and I was on his right side. We didn’t do it consciously. He was just always there. Then that was gone. I was completely lost and had no idea who Mason was without Cody. As I got older, I tried to be the rich kid, Chance, Mr. Cartwright, or whoever people expected me to be because at least I knew who that was. You are the first person in a really long time who has asked me what Mason thinks or feels about anything. I don’t know how to give you Mason because I’m not sure I know who I really am.”

  I nodded as I processed. I loved his honesty and his willingness to be vulnerable. I smiled and tossed a mandarin orange at him. “Well, based on the glimpses I’ve already seen I have a feeling the real you is pretty amazing. How about both of us get to know him at the same time?”

  He flashed his shy smile, but nodded to agree. “I work in a job I don’t love even though my trust fund is large enough that I wouldn’t have to work a day in my life if I didn’t want to. My current circle of friends are superficial people who never call when I’m away and probably wouldn’t miss me if I didn’t come back. I live on the road and have never lived more than three years in any one place my entire life. And my parents don’t know how to talk to me. How’s that for a start?”

  “It’s good. Where were you born?”

  “Sydney, Australia.”

  “Really? Cool. How did you get the scar across your eyebrow?”

  He rubbed his finger across the scar. “Is it that noticeable?”

  “No. I just have an eye for interesting details.”

  “When we were little, my brother and I were playing hide and seek and he ran into the house. I sprinted around the corner to chase him and smacked into the closed sliding glass door at full speed. I was so stunned I just lay down on the deck and stared up at the sky. Cody opened the door and laughed until he saw blood gushing down my face. He pressed his hand on the gash to try to make the bleeding stop, so we were both covered in blood when our nanny found us. She started screaming hysterically in Spanish because she thought he tried to kill
me.” He chuckled. “That part was funny, but it literally scarred me for life.”

  “It makes you unique. I like it.” As we ate, I thought about more questions to ask him—questions that would help both of us to get to know him better. “What’s your all-time favourite movie?”

  “Meatballs.” He opened a Perrier and took a sip.

  “Is that the old summer camp one?”

  “Yeah. I like all Bill Murray movies. He’s funny.”

  “You’re weird. I thought my taste in movies was outdated.” There was a bar of dark chocolate in the picnic basket, so I smiled and opened the wrapper to share a square with him. “What was your favourite story as a child?”

  He lay back on the blanket and closed his eyes to bask in the sun. “The Velveteen Rabbit.”

  “That was about a toy that became real because it was loved, right?” I asked, trying to remember the story.

  Mason shrugged. “I don’t really remember the story, just that I liked it and I made my mom read it every night for almost a year. My brother liked Pippy Longstocking for some reason.” He chuckled as he remembered.

  I rolled over onto my stomach and rested my cheek on my folded arms. “What is your favourite memory of your brother?”

  He thought for a while, then he sat up and smiled. “We were both scared to sleep in our own beds, so after my mom turned out the light, I would either sneak into his bed or he would sneak into mine. We would read books or play with toys with a flashlight under the covers until we fell asleep.”

  “That’s very cute.”

  He got quiet and I could tell he was thinking about something that was upsetting him. “I’ve never told anyone this before.” He licked his bottom lip and looked away as if he’d changed his mind about sharing. I waited and eventually he looked back at me and said, “I thought it was my fault he got cancer.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We were eleven and he hadn’t being feeling well for a couple of weeks. My mom told me I wasn’t allowed to sleep in his bed when he was sick and I still snuck in every night without her knowing. One night we were messing around, wrestling and jumping on the bed in a competition to see who could touch the ceiling the most times in a minute. I let him win, but afterwards he got really tired, so I lay next to him. In the middle of the night he couldn’t breathe and his nose was bleeding. I got my mom and he was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed. They treated him with chemotherapy and radiation, but he died five years later. I was lying next to him in his bed when that happened, too.”

  I sat up and crossed my legs again. “It wasn’t your fault he got cancer.”

  He shook his head. “I know, but I thought it was.”

  I completely understood the pain he was feeling, so I reached over and squeezed his hand. “Mason, I’m going to tell you something that very few people know about me. It’s weird, which is why only the people I trust know.”

  His expression creased, both curious and apprehensive.

  “Last night when we were at your house and I zoned out, it wasn’t epilepsy. I get intuitive visions sometimes.”

  “Like a psychic?”

  “The books call it clairvoyant. My grandmother’s grandmother was able to do it too. It’s like a really strong gut instinct accompanied by flashes of images. Lately my visions have become more frequent and more accurate but when I was younger I usually didn’t know what they meant until it was too late.” I glanced at his expression to gauge how much of a whack job he thought I was. He seemed open to the possibility, so I continued, “I know what it feels like to wish you could change the past. I also know what it feels like to blame yourself for someone dying. And maybe that was the connection you saw hidden behind my expression when we first met in high school.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I saw my dad’s car accident before it happened. In the vision I couldn’t see the driver’s face, so I didn’t stop him from going to visit my mom in Vancouver that day. He’d still be alive if I had figured it out in time.”

  Mason’s eyes met mine.

  “It would have been my choice that my dad didn’t die. But since he did, I wish I could have at least been with him in his last moments. That way the last thing he would have felt was my love.” Tears blinked out and rolled down my cheeks. “The cancer killed your brother. You didn’t. He maybe would have died that night when he couldn’t breathe if you hadn’t been there. And lying with him near the end to make sure he wasn’t alone when it was time for him to go was the most precious thing you could have done for him. He was lucky to have you there.”

  He nodded and stared off at the view as he processed. “Thank you for saying that,” he said softly.

  “Thank you for sharing with me.”

  I sat up on my knees and wrapped my arms around his shoulders to give him a hug, then we both lay back and watched the clouds float by as the sound of the water and the songbirds lulled us into a peaceful state. We were definitely connected on a level that I couldn’t explain. Maybe it was Cody and my dad smiling down. Or maybe it was just two people who, once you got past the surface differences, were very similar at the core. Whatever ended up happening at the end of the summer, I would never forget Mason.

  CHAPTER 17

  After our picnic, Mason dropped me off at the Inn and then headed down to Vancouver to get some work done. I took over for my granddad at the front desk for the rest of the afternoon. Because the weather was so gorgeous all of the guests were out enjoying outdoor activities, which meant it was quiet enough for me to hang out in the library, sketching.

  Jim had already returned before Mason dropped me off after lunch, but Trevor wasn’t home. If Trevor had been hurt badly on the search Jim would have come over to tell me, so that was a relief. But it made me wonder where Trevor was and whether he had changed his mind about our talk. When he still hadn’t returned by dinner time I texted him to ask when he wanted to meet. He didn’t respond.

  I sat out on the deck and read, partly to enjoy the summer evening and partly to watch for him to come home. At ten o’clock, I gave up and went to my room. I texted him one more time: Are you okay? then I fell asleep waiting for his reply.

  At one-thirty in the morning, a knock at my bedroom door woke me up. I was super-groggy as I got out of bed, stumbled to the door, and opened it. It was dark in my room and bright in the hallway, so I had to squint as the light flooded in. At first, I didn’t know who was standing propped up against the doorframe. I blinked and let my eyes adjust. The entire side of his face was purple and his eye was swollen almost shut. “Trevor? Oh my God,” I gasped. “What happened?”

  “Hey.” The smell of liquor seeped out of him.

  “Are you drunk?”

  “A little bit,” he slurred and shifted as if his balance was off.

  “What happened to your face? I told you to be careful.”

  “I was careful. But I fell. It was an accident. Never mind. I’m fine. Sort of. Don’t distract me or I’ll forget the things I need to say to you.” He held up one finger and tried, somewhat unsuccessfully, to point at me. “I came over earlier to talk to you. You were gone. Kailyn said you were on a date with Cartwright again. And I want to tell you.” He paused and glanced up at the ceiling. “I can’t remember exactly what I was going to say, but you should know I have always loved you and I would never let anything bad happen to you. Never. Your happiness is the only thing I have ever cared about. Ever. So if Cartwright makes you happy I won’t stand in your way. If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. You look hot by the way.” He pointed at my tank top and underwear ensemble, then limped down the hallway holding his side.

  “Trevor. Wait.” I ran after him and grabbed his elbow, which made him almost fall over. He had to brace himself against the wall. “What are you doing? You said you wanted to talk, but you show up pissed drunk and barely making any sense?”

  “I came earlier. I made sense then. You were gone. With him. You should be with him. No chance, for me. I tried to make the pain go away
. It’s worse.” His breath caught in his throat as he struggled to stand upright. “I don’t feel good.”

  “Come in. You can lie down.”

  “Rich is better.”

  “What? That doesn’t even make any sense.”

  “And I think I’m going to throw up.” He turned and pushed out the exit door into the parking lot.

  After I recovered from the shock of what he said, I rushed back into my room and searched for my phone. Sophie was a night owl, so there was a good probability she would be awake, but even if she wasn’t it was an important enough dilemma to wake her for. There was a message from Mason already on my phone: What u said about my brother today meant the world to me. Thank you.

  My heart felt weird, like it was cramping, and a lump swelled in my throat. Why did everything need to be so complicated? Obviously I attracted it into my life somehow, but I didn’t want to anymore. I wanted things to be simple and easy. For once. When Sophie answered I was surprisingly calm, which made me worry that maybe I was going into real shock. “He said he loved me.”

  “Who? Trevor?”

  “He was drunk and he came over. He said, ‘I have always loved you.’ I think I know what it means, but what do you think it means? Does he mean I love you like a kid sister and I don’t want you to get hurt, or I-love-you-love-you like I’m going to break up with my girlfriend for you?”

  “Jesus. I can’t keep up. I still haven’t even heard how your date with Mason went last night. What else did Trevor say?”

  “Um, he said my happiness is all he cares about, if Mason makes me happy he won’t stand in my way, that he’ll kill Mason if he hurts me, etcetera. Oh yeah, and before he left he said, ‘You look hot’.”

  “Were you sweaty or wearing something nice?”

  “Neither. I was in my underwear and a tank top.”

  She laughed. “He definitely meant I-love-you-love-you and he’s going to break up with his girlfriend for you if you want him to.”

  “What should I do?”

  “Go talk to him and tell him that you love him too.”